I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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