Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
