She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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