Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
