Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
