....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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