Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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