He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
