I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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