so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
