my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
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