The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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