I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
