just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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