I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
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I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
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Dick very happy bro
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
All I want is dick and wine.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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