She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
