OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize