your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
