I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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