East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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