If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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