Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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