lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
