Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
When are your genitals available?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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