So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
