i just wanna soil my oats bro
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
