Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
