I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
