K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
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