Can Purell be used as lube?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
