i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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