xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize