how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
