Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
