Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
