All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
