Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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