yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize