I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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