Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize