I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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