brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
