im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
