Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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