home. puking in laundry basket.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
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