she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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