East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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