Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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