I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
