I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I am never drinking with the goths again.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
