You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
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he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
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I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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