Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
