Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
