I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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