Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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