his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
