it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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