I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
