Im at strip club and am horny
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
