I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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