I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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