Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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